i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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