Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
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I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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