She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
