is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Still dying that you shit outside
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
