why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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