I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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