I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
