Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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