you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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