I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
