Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize