You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
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im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
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I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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