oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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