He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize