So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
