I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
