Sry I called you an 8
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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