All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
