I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
