I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
