Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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