If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize