i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
