okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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