Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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