I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
