Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
