I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize