I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize