Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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