Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
