i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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