shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize