Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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