I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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