Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
