She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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