he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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