So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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