The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Pooping to opera.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
