I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
