he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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