he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
