What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
