you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
