do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
