Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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