I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
