Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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