im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
