Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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