how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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