I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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