I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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