so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
