I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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