i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
